Confessions of a Broken Friend

I am in a state of confusion now, yes I am.

Things that I think I knew like the back of my hand, now I'm not so sure anymore. Question as simple as "what is friendship to you?" that often I take for granted knocked my off my feet as a series of things happened this week.

Spare the details for the afterlife...it will, be screened to you later...mahsyar, remember? (For those who don't have a clue,hehe forgive me)..

The thing is, these few days were like giant mirrors that constantly reminding me like a broken record, what kind of friend have i been...which is..not much of a friend. I admit it,and I am not proud of it either. In fact, I am ashamed.

In my life, I have sometimes abandoned my friends when they are in need. That was my biggest sin in friendship. I have turned down a couple of meetings for work, exams, and more work.  I have sometimes not answered smses, emails, whatever it is, name it, just because I don't think it is important. I have taken friendship lightly as if I am the most important person in the world. At the age of almost-21, I now understand how understand how lonely 'busy' is, and how cruel 'silence' can be.

What is friendship to you? And have you ever think, deeply, how to..simply just BE a friend ? Do you have regrets like I do?

These questions may look silly now, but when god gives you free tickets to watch a rewind of yourself replayed in someone else's body...its not that silly anymore.